Banning gadgets for my toddler

I have banned my 21-mo-old the use of my or my husband's cellphones, unless for calling her dad or grandparents.

I sound harsh, even to myself. (Please don't shoot me!) But I will stick to it until she learns that her life does not revolve around it.

When my husband got an ipad, I told him my concern about the games apps. He assured me that although he will also use it for games, he will restrict it to himself. Until now,
Caitlin hasn't played with his ipad. (But she has with other's!)

Cellphones, however, are a different story because we don't hide it from her.

She did not use to mind and continued playing with her toys or going about her way when she sees me using my phone, either for surfing the net, reading an ebook, or taking her pictures.

Lately, however, when she sees me with the phone, just for that moment to take her picture, she will ask to borrow it and will keep it to herself. She has called, texted, and even emailed nonsense to my friends and some family members, which I, and even they, found cute at first. Eventually, she discovered the games and loved the sounds.

She surprised me one day when she came up to me with those big and playful eyes and said, "Angry Birds." I remembered saying, "Wow, you know Angry Birds!" And then I excitedly gave her my phone to play with. She was just opening and closing the app to her amusement until she learned to throw the pigs, albeit backwards. (I did not teach her.)

Thus, it started: her love affair with my phone.

When it happened, she would not let me borrow my phone any more. When she has my phone, she won't talk to me, won't listen to me, won't play or read a book with me. Every suggestion that I make to bond with her, she shoots down and says, "Ayaw," then continues playing with my phone.

I felt that I had to do something and the most reasonable action that I could think of was grabbing the phone from her. She raised hell, of course, but I felt that I had to do it.

Once I got the phone out of our way, our routines went back to the way it was - interaction, learning and playing.

I believe my daughter's still on the lookout for my phone. She knows I put in under my pillow when she feeds so she searches under there. Sometimes, she will go down the bed immediately to grab the phone from the table where I placed it so I no longer put it within her reach and where she can see it. Everytime she gets it though, I borrow if from her. If she won't let me have it, I take it away. She'll cry in the process, but I believe that it would scar her more if I hadn't intervened.

Without the distraction of cellphones, the TV and ipad, our daughter is surely the sweetest child - helping out in the household chores, playing with her toys, singing out loud, dancing with the music, entertaining us, and showing us how much she loves us - sometimes to the point of irritating her sister.

Sometimes, I still can't help myself and use my phone in front of her. She'll look at me, ask for it then I'll apologize and hide it away. Somehow, she got the message that even if she cries, she still won't have it. And when she asks to call her daddy or someone else, she gives the phone back to me after talking!

It may very well have been a fad for her, a novelty to explore, or an opportunity to learn something new while here I am - overreacting. Let history be my judge. (Now I am sounding like a politician.)

When my elsest is older and understands how technology can help her, I won't hold her back. But until that day, we'll crawl and jump and sing and color and do all those silly and pretend games first.

- Mommy Smiley