Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Good read: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua

The Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother tells the story of how deep a mom could love her children - by ridiculing them in public, by comparing them against each other, and by pushing them near exhaustion to practice their instruments everyday even while on vacation.

It's the Chinese way, writes Amy Chua, a mother to two girls of Chinese and Jewish origins but raised in liberal America.

It's not about respecting your children's individuality or giving them choices and letting them pursue their passions. Rather, it is "by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits, and inner confidence that no one can ever take away."

It's tough love.

It's not letting her second daughter Lulu give up on her violin because that's "the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem."

According to Chua, "there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't."

Your heart will feel for her eldest daughter Sophia when she snaps back at her mom - a taboo - and reminds her not to be selfish and to be grateful to her too for being good and obedient all this time.

Chua is not bothered one bit even if she gets the ire of her daughters in the process.

Whether Chinese parenting is more superior than in other cultures, Chua later doubts so. But she knows that when it does succeed, "there's nothing like it." She doesn't have to look far though to know that it does not always have a happy ending.

Whatever parenting style you employ, I believe you'll always be on the right tract when you recognize your child as a unique person with her own personality and character - though not very far from yours or her siblings at times - and that she has a mind of her own.

I find that I tend to read a lot while nursing.  

- Mommy Smiley

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